The Thousand Natural Shocks

I'm a twenty-something Chicagoan with a penchant for self-deprecating humor who rides a bike for a living.
I like horror movies, video games, eggs benedict, and other things.
I also run BacksofGirlsHeads which is far more entertaining.

Apr 24

windycarnage:

i love bread

Windy: The Voice of a Generation


acebunnie:

meeting people who like anime is either very good or very bad. 

(via misterbig10)


Apr 23
thelmatwofist:

chakotagirl:

Frank Waln about killed me with this one. #onpoint #wastè

LMAO

thelmatwofist:

chakotagirl:

Frank Waln about killed me with this one. #onpoint #wastè

LMAO

(via oreides)


Apr 22
tinyteef:

Note to self.

tinyteef:

Note to self.

(via lezbefriends4)


I FUCKING HATE THIS GAME

me playing my favorite videogame

(via garps)

(via trashspace)


goatwing:

*prints this tweet, rolls a cigarette with it, and puts it between my teeth without lighting it*

goatwing:

*prints this tweet, rolls a cigarette with it, and puts it between my teeth without lighting it*

(via wowthatttscrazy)


partybarackisinthehousetonight:

when a cop yells “freeze” you can yell back “now everybody clap yo hands” and he is required by law to start clapping or else he will be arrested for treason and possibly deported from the country

(via fanufactured)


“Fluff rice with a fork, never stir it with a spoon.
Vaseline is the best night time eye cream on the market.
You can buy alcohol and chips with your parents’ gas station credit cards.
If you force something, you’ll break it. That could be good or bad.
It’s important to read the care tags on your clothing and follow those instructions.
Related: don’t wash and dry j. crew wool sweaters.
Changing your car’s oil is not optional.
Whatever physical objects you acquire you will one day have to put into a box and move.
You’re allowed to disagree with negative feedback.
It’s always worth reading the instruction manual.
Nostalgia, like any drug, can be a poison or a remedy.
Pets are like human friends but better in every conceivable way.
Good doctors listen more than they talk.
You can’t fix a burned roux.
Floss.
Just because someone is an authority figure does not mean they are intelligent/competent/right.
Measure twice, cut once.
Get your nice jeans and dress pants tailored by a professional.
If you’re uncomfortable wearing it you will not look good.
You’re not required to drink alcohol while in a bar.
There are a few things that cure all ills: the beach, your favorite album on vinyl, and fresh garlic.
Kindness is not weakness.
Baking soda is not baking powder.
Taking Excedrin P.M. while still in public is not advisable.
Terrible people will succeed. Wonderful people will fail. The world is not fair.
Appropriate footwear is always key.
You can absolutely be too forgiving.
Real humor punches up, not down.
Reading the assigned chapters will actually help you learn the material.
There are no adults. Everyone is as clueless as you are.
Applying eyeliner well is a timeless art.
You can always leave. Awkward dates, suffocating jobs, hometowns that you outgrow, relationships that aren’t growing in the right direction.
You can always come home again.
But it won’t be the same.
Life is too short for bad books, boring movies, shitty people, and margarine.
Never underestimate the importance of eyebrows.”
36 Things I Wish I Figured Out Sooner - Whitney Kimball (via cutlerish)

(via thesoftberet)


Apr 17
Atlas is helping me pack.

Atlas is helping me pack.


avantfvck:

getting older just means realizing you have more fetishes than you originally thought 

(via attoliancrown)


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